One of the Truths About Working as a Husband and Wife Team « Tanya & Victor

One of the Truths About Working as a Husband and Wife Team

It was Valentine’s Day. Recently. We had just gotten back from getting all of our secret ingredients for the special one-of-a-kind pizza sauce. Love had apparently been in the Trader Joe’s air with its empty flower shelves. The empty shelves reminded me of some thoughts and feelings I had throughout the week. Running our business together with Victor has been such an inspiring experience. We’ve had our challenges, our mini growth spurts, and pivots in our journey together. Working together has been a blessing, and there aren’t any complaints from either of us. Besides our business challenges, we’ve had to navigate through our marriage challenges as well. We’ve had tough seasons of trying to balance work and our personal time. And on that evening, I felt compelled to share my heart with him. We always knew we love working with each other, and we actually met working with one another. However, marriage life is a new road for the two of us that we’re learning how to walk hand in hand.

©Nicole Colwell

I sat down in our studio and shared with him that I felt that we haven’t focused too much on ourselves together as a couple. We love to serve others, but sometimes I felt that maybe in our focus to be good servants we fell out of balance in serving ourselves. I came from an empty cup angle–we weren’t pouring love into each other as we could. My concern stemmed from our conversations on the phone always being about scheduling and ideas, working all the time. Our pillow talk was more work talk. Things were getting disorganized because we were both assuming roles for one another. And on this Valentine’s day instead of feeling like we were husband and wife, it felt a little more like partners.

©Nicole Colwell

Then I just did it. I asked for forgiveness. Forgiveness for focusing too much on the little details that bothered me instead of relaying the full breadth of my insecurities to him. Victor in his usual chivalrous and gracious self, in turn, asked for forgiveness for not noticing that I was struggling. I realized right then and there that if we were to truly honor our vows or our purpose to love, that somehow forgiveness needs to be a more prominent part of the process. As a wife, I need to learn to relinquish more of the things that don’t matter and instead hold on to grace, forgiveness and essentially love. Creating limits on our work talk and carving outspace and time each week to be ourselves without business matters are changes we hope to incorporate more.

There are so many valuable resources on the topic of marriage and relationships but, very little on the realities of working with your spouse. So this is our small take on it. We’re still learning so much about how to manage life, work and our love for one another. So far in our short 6 years of marriage, forgiveness is key. Love always taking front and center. We’re no Chip and Joanna Gaines, but as Tanya and Victor, we want to keep celebrating each milestone while also appreciating all the pivots we had to make to make it that much farther and together.

PS: How incredible is Victor to allow me to share this? His open-book kind of heart always moves me.

©Nicole Colwell

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